Darn it this is hard. I went to the doctor yesterday and the good news is that I lost 16 lbs. The bad news is that I still have 10 weeks to go and the temptations to "cheat" or to give up have not stopped. It sucks. I just want to eat. I know all of the arguments that I just need to to hang in there, that it will be worth it in the end, etc. But that does not make it any easier.
Actually, I did cheat. Three times. And I consider it all good. All of my family is around because of Grandma dying and there is just food everywhere. Mostly lunch meat, but sister-in-law Morgan made lasagna on Friday and sister-in-law Julie made some type of taco dip/burrito filler on Saturday. (Note that my wife Kris does not make that kind of food right now because she knows I can't have it. Plus our kids only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs, cheeseburgers and macaroni and cheese.) I ate some of it. It was good. But now I feel guilty for doing it. Crap. I hate this - feeling guilty for eating food that my family made.
Anyways, I have hit another mood of being irritable and grouchy. Evidently the combination of guilt and hunger are not a good mix. Unlike the perfect combination of Spencer and Heidi (see, I do know pop culture). I need to come up with a coping method or plan of attack to get through the next 10 weeks. I have some ideas in mind, but I will keep them to myself for the next few days.
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